I have always been intrigued by this phenomenon called Desire. I have experienced it many times. My Desire to purchase an expensive gadget. My Desire to travel. My Desire to marry. My Desire to have a kid. The problem has not been that I have desires for myself. I had desires from others and for others. And then the list goes on and on. Then I have heard someone say. You must not have a Desire. Desires are the source of all the miseries. Desires are an attachment. They are expectations with ourselves and from others. You must not have expectations. The conclusion – Desire is the source of all the miseries, and one must not have them.
So I decided that I will work on it. I will try not to have any desire. The question was where to start with, and how? Is it really even possible to not have any desire? Also, if for a moment, I decide not to have “Desires” from others, how can I not have “Desire” for me? That’s when I came across an exciting TedX talk on Desire in which the psychologist spoke about Desire at length and then there were few articles which I read. This post is a crux of all that I have discovered.
Let’s first closely see what Desire is? The literal meaning of the word desire is
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
We may want to have a simple meal. That’s a desire. We may want to drink hot water. That’s a desire. Tomorrow I may want to study from an elite institution. That’s a desire. I want to have a happy family life. That’s a desire. I am fed up of rodents and insects at my home and want to get rid of them. That’s a desire. The point I am trying to make here is almost everything in our life is happening because of Desire. In fact, a desire sets the direction of our life. Hence Desire is an essential tool, and it’s only a fool who will talk of destroying all the desires. Everyone has a desire. If you want to be nobody’s nothing, your “Desire” is to be nothing.
Another critical point to note here is that Desire is not the source of misery, it’s unfulfilled desires which people suffer. Otherwise, desires fulfilled is a source of joy. Unfulfilled Desire is a source of suffering.
So, shall we kill all the Desires? If you want to kill all your desires, you will have a great desire to kill all your desires. “I don’t want any desire” this itself is a desire. Playing tricks with desires is not going to help. The energy which you call as Desire is similar to energy which you call as life. The only way to kill Desire is to kill yourself.
So what should be done? We must try to understand the nature of this Desire.
One desire fulfilled, you have another desire. That’s a fact, and that’s what the nature of Desire is. There is something within us, wanting to be little more than what we are right now. Desire’s ultimate goal is unboundedness. The issue arises when we tend to give an unconscious expression for the longing of this unboundedness. We don’t have to destroy our desire, we have to make it a conscious process. We must always be conscious of What are we making out of our Desire.
Our desires are just a reaction to the social situation in which we are living. If someone has a hatchback, he wants to have an SUV. This is so because this longing to expand is finding an unconscious expression. If you make your Desire into a conscious process, then Desire is not a problem. Desire is a beautiful vehicle which will take you places. We just have to bring awareness to our Desire.
We definitely don’t have to shy away from our desires. We just have to become conscious of it. We must understand what we become tomorrow is a desire today. Only thing is are we aware of what we are becoming because of our desires. Once the desires are set, our actions have a direction and choices are more rational. I think the most crucial question that we must ask is – if our Desire is going to enhance our life and which dimension of it? What kind of human being we become entirely depends on our desires.