Convinced - How to prove your competence and win people over

5 Key points from the book

  • To convince people of your competence, use the “impression management” tools of the eight pillars of competence
  • Competence and Brilliance aren’t necessarily self-evident; you must showcase your qualities
  • Showcase specific elements of the “competence formula”: performance, ability, motivation, dealing with difficulty and luck
  • The greater your attraction and popularity, the greater will be your perceived competence. Project tact, authenticity and self-confidence.
  • Judging other people’s competence is hard; recognizing their incompetence is easier


We all try to convince everyone all the time, including ourselves. Every morning when I get up, I try to convince my wife, why should she exercise. I try to convince my son, get up on time and to go to school. At office I try to convince my peers, I try to convince my boss for my ideas. So if you really look at it, “convincing is something which we all do at every point of time. We feel a sense of achievement when we are able to convince someone, but we get frustrated when we fail to do so. 
I understand the importance of “Convincing” may be that’s why i picked up this book. The author gives a brilliant To convince people of your competence, use the “impression management” tools of the “eight pillars of competence.

  • First, competence and brilliance aren’t necessarily self-evident; you must showcase your qualities: You must showcase your skills, expertise, and competence, so they resonate with those whom you want to impress. I have met many people who boast, saying, “I don’t want to impress others.” I believe they lie to themselves. Impressing means leaving an influence.  You can’t convince others if you haven’t been able to influence them yet.
    There are different venues that you must use to showcase your competence, especially social media.

  • Second, manage people’s anticipation, so they will expect you to be competent. To demonstrate your competence, use “expectation management” to direct other people’s anticipation and shape positive perceptions of your competence. When you help people reduce or eliminate anxiety about dealing with a stranger – in this case, you – you benefit. Demonstrate confidence in yourself. Subtly refer to your past successes in areas that matter to those whose support you require.  I call this as the preparation which essentially requires sincerity and some amount of clarity

  • Third, associate yourself with good news. People like positivity. Positive news radiates over every other aspect of a person or event, and bad news does so negatively. There is a personal experience of mine. In one of my teams, my bosses only used to talk about negative things. Because of this, they were never able to convince the team with their instruction. And because the team never got convinced, there was an adverse effect on the performance of the team.

    It’s essential to give bad news, but we need to ensure that we don’t form a firm association with it

  • Fourth, showcase specific elements of the “competence formula”: performance, ability, motivation, dealing with difficulty, and luck.
    You can’t directly assess the factor by which competence contributes to successful performance and achievement. Many aspects play a part in any successful outcome.

  • Fifth and sixth, master verbal and nonverbal communication I am sure many would have told you the importance of communication. Excellent Communication not just includes the way you talk, but it also includes your body language and listening skills.  Both body language and listening skills you can’t take for long.  

  • Seventh, the higher your attraction and popularity, the greater will be your perceived competence. Project tact, authenticity, and self-confidence The more popular you are, the higher will be your perceived competence. The same is right about being more attractive. Popularity and attractiveness are positive indicators.
    According to the author, you become famous by complimenting others, agreeing with others’ opinions, and self-presentation.

  • Eight, use the “power of symbols” to build the most reliable measure of your competence: your habitus.

So here are the five things which I am going to practice in  the coming months.

1. Don’t miss an opportunity to showcase your competence. If there are no opportunities, you can create one. Social Media is always one such tool for you to showcase your competence. Take Social Media seriously.

2. Be prepared. Just the way you prepare to convince the interviewer to get the job, you must strive to be be prepared every single day to convince others. You can manage everyone’s anticipation to an extent and that’s what you need to be prepared for.
3. Associate your self with positivity.
4. Showcase your competence by showing how you have overcome the adverse situations in life
5. Communication is very important skill. The more you practice, the better you become. Also it’s remember, it’s not just talking, listening also matters to a large extent

Every one is convincing others and everyone is failing at it often. There is an impact on our relationships too when we fail to convince others. We judge others as egoistic, adamant, rude, disobedient and in many other ways. But  rarely get sincere enough to admit that we failed to convince.

You must read this book.

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